Double Trouble

There are times in the productions of film, television, and life that we find those with multiple identities. Take a look at the two pictures below. Spoiler Ahead

Here we see Spiderman and Tobey Maguire. They are the same person. Look at the structure of their faces, the way their shoulders are positioned- the same. You can even tell they're the same by the look on their faces. They say "I can't wait to save Kirsten Dunst again, then sell out later for million dollar special effects, including lots of fire...cgi fire." Unlocking secret identities isn't always this easy though. Let's take Superman for example.

Above we see Superman and Superman with glasses. This mystery has plagued Teri Hatcher and Teri Hatcher's before her for ages. And with good reason. Superman and Superman with glasses look nothing alike. Look at how they stand. Superman stands to his left. Superman with glasses stands to his right. They're the same person though, aside from what rationalism and logical thinking might lead us to believe. You'll have to take my word for this one though. (or watch that episode with the time machine. You know what I'm talking about). Lets get to my point, though, with the picture below, NC State Student Body President, Tony Caravano.

Mr. Incredible, Tony Caravano
Tony Caravano stands for all that is good and true at NC State University. Tony always knows the right thing to say. "Change does not necessarily assure progress, but progress implacably requires change. Education is essential to change, for education creates both new wants and the ability to satisfy them." Tony didn't say that, but that would have been pretty sweet. Tony has wrestled and fought off alligators in the Florida Everglades to save baby turtles. When Chancellor Fox said "No" to education, Tony was there, and he said "I don't think so," then he threw a ninja star at her face, finishing her off for good. This was all later covered up with a story about Fox going to some fictitious school in California. It all happened though. On the other side of the spectrum, there's a man that represents all of the evil in the world...

Bad Guy, Paul Hewitt
This is Georgia Tech head basketball coach Paul Hewitt. Hewitt runs the point zone defense. If this isn't bad enough, let us analyze his history in the NCAA. Hewitt can single-handedly take any team out of a losing streak gutter and bring them to greatness. "This seems like a pro," the amateur might say. Wrong. The only explanation for Hewitt's incredible ability to achieve success so fast is that he has sold his soul to the devil-Not good. No refunds on that one, pal (Unless you make a good wish at the end, like in that movie "Bedazzled"). "Where's all this going?" you might ask. "Superman, CGI, Good, Evil,...I'm confused."

This is where it's going.

There's only one explanation:

NC State Student Body President Tony Caravano and Georgia Tech Head Basketball Coach Paul Hewitt...are the same person.

"What? This can't be possible," you're probably telling yourself. "Tony is all that is good, and Paul Hewitt sucks big time. Tony has ninja stars." I didn't want to believe it either, but look at the facts. Have you ever seen Paul Hewitt and Tony Caravano at the same time? No. Is their identical resemblance simply an unfortunate coincidence? Sadly, no. Where Superman and Superman with glasses, and Tobey Maguire and Spiderman are all good, this is a case of Jekyll and Hyde. By day, he is Tony, a man of the people, a man who fights for the good of all. By weekend, and sometimes Tuesday and even Thursday in some instances, he is Paul Hewitt, a raging madman, a narrow minded, crappy defense madman. We can only pray that Tony passes some decent freaking legislation before the salt of his impure potion runs dry and he hangs himself from the scaffolds in the cold, somber night.