I Can't Remember the Last Time I Crossed My Eyes

I can't remember the last time I crossed my eyes, and felt that rush of the double image, the power behind engaging in the forbidden. I can't remember the last time I said "You touched it last" or "I'll be your best friend." Almost assuredly, the latter phrase was followed by "Then we're not friends anymore." I can't remember the last time I glued glue to myself just to peel it off. Nor can I can remember the last time I gave the glue to Dean Brown to eat. I can't remember the last time I walked in a line, or sat in the exact same spot next to the exact same person I didn't like very much at lunch. I can't remember the last time the "Be Quiet StopLight" turned red at lunch, nor the last time we deceptively played on its mechanical flaws during yellow. I can't remember the last time I got sweet ass Power Ranger gear and action figures for Christmas, and then lied and said "a boombox" in journal entries called "What I got for Christmas" (back when it was ok to call it "Christmas" Break). I can't remember the last tooth I pulled out of my mouth under my own freewill. I can't remember the last time I made a snow angel. I can't remember my last dinner at Golden Corral under age 12. This was right around age 14 or 15, but I really can't remember. I can't remember the last person I'd met with green or purple hair, (you know, a color towards the shorter end of the spectrum), whose political and social views I took seriously and I assumed well founded. I can't remember the last time I held a steering wheel at 10 and 2, or the last time I ate Grapenuts.
You might be wondering what the point of all this reflection is. It's just good sometimes to take a look back at your past, at the mistakes, at the oddities. But just like crossing your eyes, you don't want to do it too long, because you know what happens...