Umbrellas = Your Future

I don't understand the deal with umbrellas. They're all designed exactly the same way. A long time ago, some guy name Fred or something came up with this elaborate contraption with of a thousand metal pieces and fabric, and invented a swift motion using a button, and the umbrella was born. And then as medicine, art, gambling, highway construction, and everything else in the world evolved, every person that designed an umbrella after Fred designed their umbrella exactly the same way. Except they put a duck on the handle or changed the shape of the button or something. Is there no other way to contruct a water/sun shielding device than with one that is essentially broken when one of the thousand pieces snaps. Why don't they make it better? I'll tell you why.-Commies. Let's look at some major countries who manufacture umbrellas. Number 1-China. China might as well control positions 2-10 also, because of their utter stranglehold on the umbrella market. Is this surprising? Of course not. In fact, if I lived in China, I wouldn't make anything better either. An old wise man once told me that the reason scientists haven't found a cure for cancer is because if they did...they would be out of a job after they found it. This is, of course, absurd, because if a scientist did cure cancer, he would be wiping his bottom with Benny Frank's for the rest of his life, but lets replace the word "cancer" with "umbrellas" in this instance, and "scientists" with "little men." The statement now reads "The reason little men haven't found a cure for umbrellas is because if they did...they would be out of a job after they found it." The cure in this instance, is perfection. If an umbrella was perfected, people would only buy one in their entire lives. The umbrella market would crash and China would be out of business. The United States, in Superman-like fashion, would send over billions of dollars to restore the ailing country's economy, and consequently, would be hated by 1/6 of the world. What did we learn today? Don't take too good of care of your umbrella. Our future depends on it. O, and Vote Bush in '04. go usa.