GPLD - The Group Photo Lay Down

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There is a group of people out there, sent from far away lands to plague humanity. They terrorize our streets and corrupt the minds of our young.

"Canadians"?

No, not Canadians.

"People that work at Time Warner Cable"?

No, but you're getting warmer.

"That lady police officer that you see at Subway sometimes, who becomes like 8 times more attractive because she carries a gun and wears shiny shoes?"

Wait, was third-person-me or real-me talking there?

Anyway, I'm talking about a very select group of people: People who lay down in front of group photos. Let's take a look:

We all know these people. They live among us. One thought goes through their minds when somebody suggests a group photo.- "How am I going to stand out in a group of 15+ individuals? I know! I'll just lay down right in front of everybody. That will be hilarious and fun!"



The "Lay-Down" is probably the ultimate in group photo self-absorption. If you have experienced this condition yourself, there is probably no hope. However, there may be some early warning signs to help you combat a possible case of a group photo lay-down or GPLD. They include:

Uncontrollable Flailing Arms

Uncontrollable flailing arms are the marijuana to the lay-down's heroine. They are a way to say, "I don't have the nerve to get in front of everybody, but I'm definitely going to rock it out in the back.

Inappropriate Crotch Shot


The inappropriate crotch shot takes what would potentially be a respectable picture, and turns the focus to a single point. The camera itself is tricked into focusing on the perpetrator's crotch, and the picture is ruined.

Which brings us to...

Being Completely Unaware of Anyone Around You


This guy is like 2 pictures away from just plopping down right in front of the camera. He is completely unaware of those around him, and is doing the best job that he can to draw any future viewer of the picture to him and only him.



The girl in the picture is even mentally calling him out. He is completely unaware.
So those are the warning signs. You may be wondering, "How do I stop this? Give me the tools I need to fight it." People that lay down in front of group photos have several warlock tricks that they use to gain front-seat photo access. Knowing these tricks will help us combat them:

1. They offer to take the picture. They set the camera to auto-flash and then they run into the shot and fall down in front so that they don't "block anyone in the frame." Nice try, LD's. We're on to this trick.

2. If they aren't the picture-taker, they typically wait until the end to join a photo. They wait until everyone is set, and then so as not to alter the 'symmetry' of the picture, they create an extra 'tier' in the front.

3. They seek the approval of a weaker member of the group. A typical example:

LD: "Hey Chip, how smokin' awesome would it be if I laid down in front of this photo"

Chip: "That would be pretty much the lamest thi..."

LD: "Yeah! I'm gonna do it!"

Don't be fooled by the trickery of a GPLD. They wait for everyone to let their guards down, and then they strike. If you haven't already been victimized, you surely will be, and you can use this guide to bring these people to justice.